Episode 5

MY V.I.
(a soap opera)


Cindy put a brunch menu down on the bar in front of the enormous, balding man wearing madras shorts, Rockport walking shoes and a tee-shirt that said, "Minnesota is for Lovers!"

"Here you go. We're serving brunch until 2:00 p.m. This is the menu and we also offer $7.00 bottomless champagne."

The bulbous tourist, who's equally rotund wife and chubby children stood waiting at the door, perused the menu, glanced back at his family, then turned to Cindy.

"How's about I give ya $8.00 for 'topless' champagne," he whispered while smiling and winking at Cindy.

Shaking her head in disgust and disbelief, Cindy grabbed the menu out of his hand and suggested, "Try Wilma's across the street." With that she turned around, stormed out from behind the bar and into the office, plopping down in front of Trudy's desk. Groaning loudly, she ran her hands through her hair, threw back her head and screamed, "I can't deal with this!"

Cindy never worked the Sunday brunch shift except in extreme emergencies. Trudy knew this and hated to ask her but it was obvious the night before that Michelle was not going to be able to do it. By the time the paramedics had finished tending to her and her roommate arrived to take her home she was nearly incoherent. She kept taking the dismembered braid and sticking it up to the side of her head saying, "Mommy, fix it . . . Mommy, fix it." I was just tragic.

How could Cindy not say yes - of course she would cover poor Michelle's shift but she also knew that by doing so she was signing on to work the most hideous double shift ever. First of all, the brunch shift meant that she had to show up at the ungodly hour of 9:30 AM! and then work all day and into the evening when the place turned into the Viagra Ballroom!

How would she ever get through this, she wondered.

She needed a stimulus plan: 3 Redbulls and a handful of mexican amphetamines!










TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF MY V.I.!