Episode 13

MY V.I. (I apologize for the text being all jammed together -

(a soap opera) It won't let me fix it & I'm too lazy to retype it!)

Cindy left the bar and walked back into the office to answer the telephone.

"Good afternoon, Village Inn; this is Cindy speaking. Oh, Ryan, it's you . . . hello honey bunny."

The normally light-hearted Ryan was speaking with a great deal more earnest as he asked her about Ken Edwards.

"Hey, Ken still works there - right?"

She was surprised by his question.

"Yes, of course. He works Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturday . . . they took him off Mondays because it's just gotten so slow. Why?"

"Well . . this is really weird. I was driving down 17th St. and I stopped at a light and I hear this voice calling my name and I look over and it's this giant cellphone waving and yelling, 'Ryan . . Ryan . . hey, Ryan!'"

"Yeah - that's weird but what's that got to do with Ken?"

"Well, I'm getting to that part. At first I thought maybe I'd forgotten to pay my phone bill and -WOW - they've sent this living cellphone to collect the dough . . . you know?"

"That would be weird."

"I know, right? But then I realized . . . it was Ken."

"Ken?"

"Yes. It was Ken dressed in this huge cellphone costume - standing and waving at the cars driving by . . . you know what I mean? You've seen those guys, right? Some guy dressed like the Statue of Liberty or a chicken . . you know . . . to advertise some business."

"Yeah, I know what you're talking about but . . . Ken was doing that? You're sure it was Ken?"

"Oh - trust me - it was Ken. I know because I pulled over and talked to him."

"You did? What did he say?

"Well . . I didn't want to act like I was surprised (which was hard not to do) so I was just like, 'hey, how's it going, Ken?' You know, it's like - what do I say to this person who I know but I've never seen dressed like a damn telephone before . . you know? It was awkward."

"Oh my god - that would be awkward . . . really awkward! Well, did he say why he was doing this . . job, I guess it's a job, right?"

"Well, this is the really sad part. You know how he's struggled financially - trying to put his dog through obedience school and all that . . . well, he told me that he's been really depressed the past couple of months and the way he's dealt with the depression is he's holed up in his apartment and watched movies - nonstop. Well, I guess he's managed to run up such a huge Blockbuster bill that he might have to take his dog out of private obedience school and home school her."

"Oh my god . . . I had no idea this was going on! He's so quiet about his personal life. Isn't that funny - always laughing on the outside but dying on the inside."

"Oh well. I just wanted to know if he'd been fired or quit, you know. So I guess this 'cellphone gig' is like extra, part-time work or something."

"I guess. This is just terrible. I'm gonna call Trudy and see if she can get his Monday night shift back, I mean, c'mon - he shouldn't be standing out on the street dressed as a phone. Was it at least like an iphone or a Blackberry . . . you know, something nice?"

"No. It was like the crappiest freebie phone - you know - the kind they give you when you sign up for service."

"Oh . . . this just breaks my heart. My little Kenny dressed up like a cheap phone walkin' the street just to make ends meet. Damn it, Ryan. Somethings gotta change in this country! This is not right!"

"Tell me about it. Things are tough all over. In fact, I'm looking at taking an editing job with the Trinity Broadcasting Network."

"TBN!? Are you kidding me?

"Hey . . . gotta go where the money is and God's never low on cash."

"Yeah, well. I think, maybe, you better drive back to 17th St. and ask Ken if they have an extra cellphone suit."

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF MY V.I.!