Episode 17

MY V.I.

(a soap opera)

"Michelle?! . . . the bartender Michelle?" Charmaine asked.

Cindy assured her that it was indeed Michelle and went on to explain how she came to know the story of Michelle and Trixie Louise.

"You see, Michelle and I took a cruise together a couple of years ago and everything was going fine until the second night. After dinner we joined a big group dancing the Hully Gully around the Captain's table and all of a sudden one of Michelle's high-heel rubber wedgies blew out. Well, she went careening across the room and landed on top of the Mexican buffet which collapsed and this huge ice sculpture of Caesar Chavez fell over and knocked her right up side the head."

"Oh my god! Was she hurt?"

"Was she hurt! She was knocked out cold and completely covered with bean dip and guacamole!"

"Oh my gosh . . . . now you're making me hungry."

"Anyway. They had medics come check her out and when she came to she seemed disoriented and confused. So, we got her back to the room and the next morning when I woke up she was gone and by the time I finally found her that afternoon she was dressed up like she is out there and calling herself Trixie Louise."

"That's the most bizarre story I've ever heard. Now where's the whole get up - I mean the clothes and the hair - come from?"

"Well, here's the way it is. Trixie Louise is an exotic dancer."

"Erotic dancer?"

"No. Exotic . . . sort of burlesque, kinda."

"Exotic, erotic. Aren't they all the same?"

"Not with Trixie. See, Michelle and Trixie Louise are both good and decent Catholic girls and would never go all the way . . . I mean, take it all off."

"Now wait a minute. You said that Trixie Louise is an exotic dancer; don't you mean she thinks she's an exotic dancer?"

"Oh no. She is an exotic dancer and a pretty good one too."

"You're serious?"

"Oh, I'm very serious. In fact, the cruise director was so impressed that he hired her and for the rest of the cruise she did two shows a night in the Isla Bonita Room. One at ten and then the big one: Trixie's Midnight Revue at twelve."

"Unbelieveable!"

"I know. She made enough to pay for her entire trip and then some. Kinda pissed me off."

"Why?"

"I don't know; just jealous, I guess. She didn't snap out of it until the day after we got home."

"Did she freak out?"

"Well, kinda. She called me all panicked and wanted to know if I knew why she was wearing pasties."

"So what do you think caused all this to happen?"

"Well, it seems to have been caused by the ice sculpture hitting her on the head and - in fact - it's happened a few times since then and each time it's been after she's hit her head. The past two pub crawls she's gone on she's fallen and hit her head and Trixie Louise showed up. I would guess this time was caused by the fight last night."

"Incredible!"

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF MY V.I.!