Episode 24

MY V.I.

(a soap opera)**sorry the text has all run together - I'm unable to fix it without re-typing everything and I'm just plain too lazy to do that!

"Psychiatrist?! I don't need to see a friggin' psychiatrist," Michelle insisted.

"Besides, I've already seen one, years ago, and all he wanted to talk about was my childhood . . . my childhood! I had a great childhood! My mom stayed home and when my dad wasn't working he always spent time with me . . he slept alot but he never yelled or hit me!"

Cindy realized that she'd opened a big can of worms by suggesting a psychiatrist so she decided to go in another direction.

"So, where did the gun come from?"

Michelle threw her hands in the air and said, "Where does any of this crazy stuff come from? I mean the wigs, the ugly clothes! This psycho I turn into orders all of it online with my credit card! Last month I got two bills for wigs: one from a "Wilma's 'Wig'wam" and another from some crazy place called, "Gettin' 'Wiggie' With It!" Do you realize what these things cost! But, to answer your question; I have no idea where the gun came from."

"That's scary," Cindy added.

"You're tellin' me? But, what's really scary is how little I remember happening before I got to that public bathroom."

"Oh, right! I meant to tell you."

Cindy began to unfold the events from the night before. She explained how Trixie Louise had shown up all of a sudden and had begun dancing with everyone.

"I was dancing with Meatloaf Man?!"

"Yes. An when you finished with him, Corona Bob took over!"

"Are you KIDDING me! Seriously, I didn't really dance with them, did I?"

"Oh my god, Michelle, yes! You danced with everybody! And then Sky came in and . . . "

"SKY! I remember being with Sky. That's the weird part. I remember Sky shoving me into a closet and telling me to be quiet and then I heard some guy come in and start yelling at him and calling him . . . Henry or . . ."

"Hank?" Cindy asked.

"Hank, that's it. This guy was yelling and calling Sky, Hank. And I'm all wedged in this closet thinking, 'what the hell am I doing here; why am I dressed like this and where the heck am I?'"

"So, who was this guy that came in and why was he yelling?" Cindy asked.

"Well, best I could tell, he was mad because he thought Sky . . or Hank had a woman in his room and, I guess, that woman would have been me. And, as for who he was, I couldn't tell you - maybe a roommate? But I didn't think Sky had a roommate."

Cindy laughed and then added, "Well, things with Sky have changed lately. In fact, they've changed alot!"

As they drove along Pacific Coast Highway, Cindy explained how she'd encountered Sky on the street the day before and how strange he'd behaved. She told her about his name change and that he claimed to have joined something called the "New Way."

"And, according to Charmaine, he showed up last night as this Hank guy, grabbed the microphone and started going on and on about this 'New Way' thing."

"How totally bizarre is that?!"

"I know, but here's the kicker. I guess Trixie Louise liked what she heard and, according to Charmaine, she pulled out that gun and told everyone to get back and then the two of them walked out together."

"Well, where were you during all of this?" Michelle asked.

"Oh, crap. I answered the phone and got stuck taking some huge to-go order!"

Michelle exhaled deeply, reclined her seat and leaned back - turning her head to look out the window.

"Well . . . I don't know what to make of all this."

Cindy reached over and patted Michelle's hand.

"Don't worry; it's going to be alright."

As she looked over at Michelle, she noticed something she hadn't seen before.

"Oh my god, Michelle. Are those hickies all over your neck?!"

"What?!"

Michelle sat straight up, lowered the sunvisor and opened the lighted mirror. Upon close inspection she came to a startling conclusion.

"Son of a . . . "

"What?" Cindy asked.

"They are hickies!"

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF MY V.I.!