Episode 2

MY V.I.
(a soap opera)



The scene in front of the V.I. was nothing short of surreal. Eleven Newport Beach police cars, two fire trucks and an ambulance all parked helter skelter with lights flashing.

The whole neighborhood, along with all the patrons from the bar, were milling about outside watching as the last Tree Hugger was cuffed and placed in the back of a police car.

Ryan and Cindy restrained Michelle as she shook her fist at the hefty, vegan songstress, "Come on back when you get out of jail and I'll give you a piece of meat . . . right in the FACE!"

"Michelle, MICHELLE!" Cindy shouted, "Forget it."

"Let me go!" Michelle yelled as she pulled herself away from the two of them and as she did, she felt something warm running down her arm. Touching it she realized it was blood.

"Cindy, tell me I'm not bleeding!"

Cindy pulled her into the light and saw that she was indeed bleeding but not from her arm. "Honey, I think it's coming from the side of your head . . . oh, wait."

It was then that Cindy realized the awful truth - it was coming from where her braided pigtail USED to be.

Her scream could be heard across the bay.


TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF MY V.I.

Episode 1

Monday, March 2, 2009

MY V.I.
(a soap opera)



The music was pounding and so was Cindy's head as she stood behind the bar washing dishes. She tried to yell over the mind numbing cacaphony of bad music, drunken chatter and the whine of the dish washing machine, "Michelle!"

Michelle, who was working the other end of the bar and in no mood to be there, turned her way and answered, "What?"

"Is this the weirdest night or what?!"

"Are you kidding me? They're all weird," Michelle shot back.

It was Saturday night at the V.I. and things weren't going well. Trudy had booked a new band called Peta & the Tree Huggers and unbeknownst to her, Peta & the Tree Huggers consisted of 4 angry lesbian vegetarians who began their set by verbally abusing all of the patrons who were eating meat.

"Death to the carnivores! A one, a two, a 1,2,3,4." And with that they were off; playing the most vulgar, dissonant racket ever heard at the V.I.

Soon, up went a unanimous howl from the regulars at the bar.

"Cindy! Who are these communists?" barked one guy. "Go back to San Francisco!" screamed another.

Michelle walked over to Cindy and yelled over the noise, "Are these chicks serious? This isn't gonna work! First of all, it's too loud and second, we're going to have a riot on our hands."

"You're right," Cindy shouted back.

Michelle decided she would stop the music and have a word with "Peta" the lead "singer" and as she approached the stage waving her hands Peta yelled, "Back off!" and kicked over the table in front of her which fell on Michelle's foot.

Needless to say, this didn't sit well with Michelle who responded by grabbing the end of Peta's guitar. When she did, the bass player, "Sprouts," kicked her with her Doc Martens and then all bets were off.

Michelle punched Sprouts then tackled Peta and the two of them went crashing into the drums, trapping the drummer, "Herbal Annie" in the corner. Chaos ensured!

Horrified, Cindy grabbed the phone and dialed 911.

TUNE IN NEXT TIME
FOR ANOTHER EXCITING
EPISODE OF MY V. I.